Ok. This is not going to be an easy message for us. Here is the news in short: Bea is very healthy and active. Elsa is a very sick little girl and will likely not survive. If you'd like to know more, you can read on.
Elsa does not have a very large share of the placenta. Her lack of "placenta share" is not providing her with enough nutrients. Her heart is stressed and her head and body are not growing proportionately. If they did the surgery (and cut off her ties to Bea) she would probably die instantly. If she survived the surgery, she would probably grow sicker and sicker -- and likely not survive the pregnancy or birth. If she survived birth, she would likely have extraordinary birth defects.
To save Bea we have two options: We can help Elsa die quickly with a smaller procedure or we can do the surgery where she has some small chance. The surgery has more chance of complications for me (Melissa) and possibly more suffering for Elsa in the immediate and long term. It's simply not an easy call. With either option I will still be on bedrest for the rest of the pregnancy and Bea will still be a premie. If Elsa dies in the womb, she will stay there and be delivered with Bea.
The procedure (either one) will be done on Friday. Tomorrow is testing for me to ensure that I am safe to go through with a surgery.
We appreciate all of your love, kind, wishes, and support -- and we feel that the girls know you are thinking of them. We firmly believe that there is a reason for everything that happens. Elsa will always be an important part of our lives and spirits. She is truly special little girl and we love her dearly.
- M & M
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14 comments:
Dearest all:
We know that when Elsa leaves us that Bea will be there to give her a hug. She will know that her Mom and Dad and all her family loves her very much. She will be with us forever. We will never stop loving her or her sister.
We love you Elsa.
We love you Bea.
We love you Missy.
We love you Matt.
No matter what happens this love will never change.
Mom & Dad Rach
Melissa and Matt,
My heart just goes out to you both. You will make the right decision even though it is probably the hardest thing you'll ever do. I think of you all a lot.
Jane H.
We're so sorry. We wish there was something we could do or say to help. I guess all we got is that you are in our thoughts and prayers, and just know that a lot of people care about you.
The other thing I guess I'd say is follow your heart. I wish I could point to one choice and say it would be the best, but I can't. I guess we just know that you'll make the best choice.
Junior and Marcy
Melissa and Matt,
I am so sorry that you are having to go through this and make these tough decisions.
You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers.
Brenda Konik
Melissa and Matt,
I can't imagine how you are both feeling right now. Please know that all of us are thinking about you and praying for you and your little girls.
Katie A.
Melissa and Matt,
It is hard to find the right words to bring comfort to you...know that all of you are in my prayers.
Pat S.
Melissa and Matt,
Our thoughts and prayers are with all four of you. If there is anything we can do, let us know!!
Kris Carver
Dear Melissa and Matt,
I am so sorry to hear about all that your family has faced and is facing. I am touched by your thoughts in your blog today. May you find your peace in this. Daily thoughts and prayers are with you today and always...
Stay strong & love, love, love your girls!
With loving arms of support around you,
Haley
Hey guys. Just wanted to let you know that Leah and I are praying for you all. May God give you guidance, strength, comfort, health, and whatever else you may need during this time.
For a linguist, I'm not always very good with words, so I don't know what else to say.
Take care of each other and hang in there.
Dan
I wish I could give each of you (even Bea and Elsa) a hug right now. I'm so sorry. To have the joy of your pregnancy interrupted by this syndrome, and then be faced with this decision. There's no easy path.
You are thoughtful, loving people, and you will make the best choice you can.
There are lots of people caring for and about you right now so remember you're not alone.
Love from Jennifer
Melissa,
Praying hard for all of you for courage and strength in this difficult time.
Ruth
Matt/Melissa,
We are thinking of you and praying for you frequently.
You are both strong people. May His wisdom help guide and comfort you through the difficult decisions you face.
If there is anything we can do, don't hesitate to ask.
All of our best wishes,
Jason and Jodi
Hi there, I am sure you are all exhausted both physically and emotionally. Try and get some rest for your surgery tomorrow. I love you and I am praying for all of you.
My dear friends-
I'm so sad to hear that you have such heavy decisions to make during what should be such a joyous time. You all are in our prayers and constant thoughts. Please remember that you and both your girls will always be loved no matter what happens.
Deanna & Chris
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