27 Weeks!

Another big milestone has been reached. When we first checked in here they showed us a picture book of premature babies and what the NICU and other conditions would be like to help prepare us for what babies at different gestational periods look like and go through. Well they had a couple pages on 24-26 weeks. Today Melissa asked to see the book again to look at the 27-31 week pages. It was really nice to turn that page.

While the most critical development weeks have past we now enter the large growth spurt where the weight increase is exponentional. Hopefully we can hang around for a while to allow Bea to pack on the pounds to give her strength and stamina for life outside of the womb. I'm a little extra tired today and ready for bed and to wake up in the morning refreshed with one day further removed from 27 weeks and one day closer to 28 weeks.

Tuesday February 27th

One of the first days after we checked into the hospital in Minneapolis Melissa's mom (Liz) mentioned that it would be nice if we could make it until today which is Melissa's grandfather's birthday. Neither Melissa or I thought anything about it because it seemed so impossible and unlikely to make it this far, but apparently Melissa filed away the date in the back of her head with a little glimmer of hope. While tomorrow is the big 27th week day today is more symbolic to Melissa because it's really 27 on the 27th on her grandpa's birthday.

Tonight is also the first night I haven't stayed at the hospital. I have to be up early in the morning for work, Melissa's doing really well so there's less urgency to be with her all of the time, and it's most important that she sleeps well. I would have woken her up by getting up early and there's simply no need for that right now.

It'll be really weird sleeping in our own bed, and sleeping in the bed alone. Our dog Bullet is very much wondering what I'm doing hanging around so late and he'll be really confused when I sleep here tonight, and don't sleep here tomorrow night.

All is well in Minneapolis tonight.

Monday February 26th

Wednesday will be 27 weeks for Bea. This morning the doctor indicated that Wednesday she'll go from extremely premature to just premature. Extremely has been a not so good word lately. We'll be very happy to shed this use of the word.

On the otherhand (our dog) Bullet is extremely fond of the snow. With the temperature being so warm (near freezing) he hunkers down in the snow, using it as insulation, and he just doesn't want to come in. It looks like I'm going to have to drag him in from the yard so I can get to the hospital.

Sunday February 25

Another day has inched buy with nothing exciting to report. Melissa is in good spirits except for the wrong basketball team won today.

Snowy Saturday

Today marks the second week Melissa's been in the hospital. I tell her it's actually the 15th day so that makes it two weeks and one day (every day counts). The doctors said not very many people make it more than two weeks after a water rupture so we're finally on the good side of the odds. Some people make it 10 weeks so there's no reason we can't do that. Melissa's rupture was likely caused by the surgery, so it's my theory that her sac has a small isolated tear as opposed to a large structural tear other women may have before leaking. Thus Melissa and Bea are much more structurally sound and should be capable of going for quite a while. Her uterus and Bea's vital signs have been very stable all week so there's no reason for anything but optimism.

The nurses and doctors have consistently been very happy with Bea's heart rate tracing and indicated she's well ahead of her time. I'm starting a new theory that Melissa's diligence with aerobics and my persistence of just about every sport I can participate in (I've announced that no one can beat me on the eliptical) hopefully have passed a strong cardiovascular system to Bea. I never thought about how good physical genes and diligence from parents could possibly make an impact at a time like this when Bea's strength and stamina will be tested more than at any time in her life. It might not make any impact but you never know.

Melissa indicated the view outside the hospital is like a snow globe. I said that's fine as long as no one shakes her real hard. I actually took Bullet for a walk and he looked like a polar bear when we came back in.

Friday February 23rd

Nothing new to report. We're supposed to get a big snowstorm this weekend, around 10 inches maybe more. Melissa jokes that she's been waiting a few years for a good snowstorm to skip work and this one won't do her a whole lot of good. She can't enjoy it at all. Maybe I'll slip a snow ball in her gown when she's sleeping. Then she'll notice the snow a little more and maybe it'll help her through a hot flash. Melissa jokes that she hopes the doctors can make it to the hospital this weekend. Well actually they have a peri-natal doctor in the hospital at all times and we're attached to the Children's Hospital where the NICU unit is. I'm actually very happy that Melissa and Bea will be tucked in safe and sound at the hospital.

The big excitement this weekend will be looking forward to the Wisconsin vs. Ohio State basketball game. Wisconsin's loss versus Michigan State this week took a little excitement out of the #1 vs. #2 game but it'll be definitely fun to watch. We have an agreement where if our college team isn't playing (Wisconsin or Minnesota) we have to root for the other team (Wisconsin or Minnesota). I play along to be nice, Melissa plays along because I'm really grumpy when the Gophers loose - especially when they lose dramatically, but we're not going to dwell on the past. We've got a new football coach and I'm sure Flip Saunders will be signing on any day to coach the basketball team (I say this with much sarcasm and false hope).

My recommendation for the weekend is any Twin Citians who shovel should buy the shovels with the bent handles. With my back surgery I really notice the difference with the ergonomic design.

Thursday February 22

Nothing much to report today. Last night about two hours after we ate our celebratory pizza Melissa realized that she got really bad acid reflux from red sauce (spaghetti) the night before we went to the hospital here in Minneapolis. She realized it because of all of the red sauce she ate from the pizza. She had acid reflux all night. The cupcakes seemed to go down just fine and Liz and I had no complaints with the pizza.

I'm late for the hospital so I need to run.

26 Weeks!

When we first checked into the hospital (in Minneapolis) 1 1/2 weeks ago one of the nurses said it would be nice to make it a couple of days and it would be really nice to get to 26 weeks, but she said "26 weeks" with obvious skepticism in her voice. Well here we are!

There is going to be a 26 week celebration at the hospital for Melissa, Bea, Liz and me tonight with deep dish Chicago style pizza (delivered) and cupcakes. It should be really fun.

The last day has been more of the same good news for Melissa and Bea as they keep doing their thing in the hospital.

26 weeks is a much nicer milestone then 25 weeks. One of our nurses a week ago had a 1 lb 12 ounce baby at 26 weeks, which is roughly where we're at. We've heard from several people who have close friends who delivered at 24 weeks. Another nurse was in the NICU a few days ago and saw a sign that said something like "27 weeks old - born 4 weeks ago". You might have also heard about the baby in Florida who went home yesterday. She was born at 21 weeks 6 days at 10 ounces! They're calling it the youngest baby ever born. I found record of a couple lighter babies including one at 9 ounces. Bea is nearing a hefty 30 ounces so she's a sumo wrestler compared to those babies.

I need to get ready for some pizza.

Tuesday February 20th

We had another awesome ultrasound today. It was easily the shortest ultrasound visit we've had yet. They did a quick scan of everything and didn't see any problems. What was astonishing was they didn't see an immediate need to schedule us for another ultrasound. We're not accustomed to people not worrying about us. It's very foreign. So we anticipate having the new-normal 60 second doctor visitation each morning for a while, hopefully a long while.

The bad news with the quick ultrasound was they didn't give us a weight. It's always fun to monitor growth especially if you're a numbers guy (like an engineer). Five weeks ago she was at 12 ounces. Two weeks ago (13 days to be specific) she was at 1 pound 7 ounces (23 ounces) and one week ago she was at 1 pound 9 ounces (25 ounces). So I'm guessing we'll be nearing 2 pounds (32 ounces) next week. The accuracy of the measurement is +/- 3 ounces. Her loss of fluid could slow things down but since she's getting older she should be accelerating her growth a bit.

I hope to have another boring blog tomorrow.

Monday the 19th

When I left Melissa this morning we had another uneventful 24 hours. That makes for a happy Melissa and Matt. There were no alarming contractions, temperatures or heart rates. We even had our second good night of sleep in a row which made for good sleep 3 our of 4 nights. She doesn't get any more 4 am antibiotic pills so we can sleep uninterrupted now.

When I left this morning I told Melissa I'd see her in the evening which is becoming a weekday routine and I'm so happy to be settling into a routine. I've also been telling people in the office I've never been happier not to be a dad.

Sunday the 18th

The last 24 hours have been relatively uneventful. Nothing's changed except for the date which is a very good thing. Melissa hit her limit in terms of patience last night and needed to vent. She went over and laid on the couch in her room as her act of defiance from staying in her bed 24-7. I'm extremely fortunate to get some breaks from the hospital. I've snuck out yesterday and today for a few hours and have been able to work out and burn some energy and help relax. I wish desperately that Melissa could have a good outlet, but also hope she'll stay in the hospital for a really long time.

Saturday February 17th

The last day has seen the normal worries but no major problems. Melissa felt some significant contractions this morning (she's finally confident she knows what some of them feel like) but when we hooked her up at the monitor at 6:30 they were starting to dissipate and we didn't see anything major - except for one large one at the end of the half hour monitoring period but we pulled the plug on the monitor because we still had to do our morning monitoring...which started at 8:00 and because she was still feeling small contractions, they left her on the monitor for a full hour.

The doctor's usually come around at 9:00 but apparently on the weekend they scale back on staff and we didn't see a doctor until around 1:00 or so. The doctor shrugged off the small contractions and indicated we should let the nurses know if they come back and/or if they get worse. It was the reaction we were expecting. We're just going to have to get use to anxiety for a while (hopefully for a long while).

Melissa said she really had to write the blog yesterday because it was such a happy day with 24 hours of absolutely nothing including the best night of sleep we had since Saturday. Last night wasn't quite as restful, we weren't quite as tired. Thursday morning after her contractions died down (until this morning) we realized we both were fully expecting to deliver Bea that day when Melissa was having contractions at 4 am and she had leaked fluid for a good 24 hours in a row. I almost jumped in the shower at 4 am to get ready for delivery. I would have bet good money on a delivery, which is probably why I don't go to the casino.

Her leakage has essentially stopped (except for real small amounts) since Thursday morning. Either the tank is empty or Bea has plugged the whole (which is a literal explanation the doctors used). If Bea's successful in helping replentish the fluid, she'll be getting an all expense paid trip to County Cork in Ireland. Bea actually has some Irish in her through Melissa. A four leaf clover would be nice right now along with a frothy Guiness for Dad (and Mom would probably want a pint too).

Thus another day passes. We let out a moan of disgust when I had the honor of pulling the date off the daily calendar and found out that Saturday and Sunday are on the same sheet of paper, so we'll either need to rip it in half or wait until Monday to rip it off. I prefer to wait until Monday.

Oh yes, Dick brought a picture of some Badger Football players holding Paul Bunyans Axe yesterday. I think it was a gift from some jokers at the Mall in Appleton he works with. Melissa was moving stuff around and the picture fell right in the garbage. I thought it was a sign from another power but apparently she wants to look at the axe while she can and she picked it up. The evening shift nurse asked if we've ever gotten the axe. Ouch.

It's Friday, I'm Still Pregnant!

Hello, it's Melissa (Well, Matt is acting as my personal assistant by typing this remotely). I guess no news is good news. Yesterday was a fairly uneventful day on the medical front. I had a lot of leakage all day, but the doctors say that's nothing to worry about. A couple of weeks ago my dad put in a new faucet and shut-off valve in our upstairs bathroom. Yesterday I told him to stop by Menards (hardware store) and get a shut off valve for me - but he said he didn't think they work for people. Bummer.

As Matt has alluded to in the last few blogs - this experience is turning me into a world-class worrier. It is against my nature to just lay around during a crisis. I'd much rather be working on something to keep my mind off things. Laying around may be the hardest work I've ever done. Anyway, I worry about every twinge and every drop of fluid. The nurses keep telling me that that is how parenthood is...worry, worry, worry - so get used to it.

There are things I'm not worried about. Today is February 16th, which is my Grandma's 87th birthday. When she was born in a Wisconsin farmhouse in 1920 it was so cold that her mother's hair froze to the bed. I can confidently say that having my hair freeze to the bed is not a worry! Well I suppose there could be a freak snow storm that cuts of all power to the hospital, but that's not too likely. Right?

Well that's about all there is to report. As long as things are stable here, phone calls and visitors are welcome. (Please note that visitors have to be healthy - Bea and I are very susceptible to colds/infections). Thanks again to everyone for your kind words, thoughts, and support!

Love, Melissa (& Bea).


Matt (practicing his new stern Dad voice) says visitors must also wash their hands immediately upon entering the room and cell phones are not allowed on the floor and in many other areas of the hospital because they interfere with monitoring equipment.

25 Weeks

Yesterday was the 25 week mark using the most conservative estimate. - it's what they've been using this week. In Cicinnati and when we checked in on Saturday they were using an earlier term date that would put us at 25 1/2 weeks.

Yesterday afternoon and especially night was an especially rough one for Melissa. She lost a lot of amniotic fluid through steady leaking. We asked to have the baby monitor hooked up in the middle of the night to make sure everything looks good for Bea, and as always she looks fine.

Melissa did have contractions last night but they went away by this morning. It was a really long night.

All of the nurses were downplaying fluid loss yesterday and we thought they were just being optimistic, but the doctor came in today and gave us the same answer without flinching. He indicated babies can survive without any fluid which seems counterintuitive to us but it was an answer I liked to hear and I'm not going to argue with the expert. Melissa is a little more skeptical about the fluid loss and was still pretty shaken up this morning. I just got off the phone with her and she's seems to be feeling a litttle better mentally about last night and the fluid loss. It appears the fluid is very beneficial in helping develop the lungs, but the doctor thinks the most critical period for lung develop has gone and we should be okay in regards to that, so it's a matter of letting the lungs grow stronger.

Tough as it was yesterday the daily calendar in the hospital room has a different number on it. The dang nurse ripped off the old date. I was going to give the honors of ripping the day off to Melissa.

She was moved into an apartment style room late yesterday. It's so much more quiet and peaceful on her floor. While we didn't have large quantities of sleep last night, the quality appears better. The room should help remove external distractions and allow Melissa to relax more quickly and more fully. Now Melissa's battle for stress lies more directly in her body and in her mind.

A little good news (for Melissa) is the badgers apparently snuck one out against the gophers in hoops yesterday. The game was tape delayed so we didn't see it. Craig Bursch - Melissa did thoroughly enjoy the column in the Minneapolis Star Tribune yesterday that said the border battle between the gophers and badgers has been long over this year - with the bad guys winning. The gopher game was tape delayed for the Timberwolves game which Melissa thoroughly appreciated, especially because the only speakers for the tv are on her bed facing towards her. I made her put down the Sodoku book she was working on to watch the good replays. She got a sodoku book as a gift and she loves it. It gives her something to work on and helps to exercise the brain a little. She's really tearing through the book - she's never done sodoku before.

Hump Day

This is truely a hump day. Half of a week has gone by and we're still hanging in there. It's been really, really hard. It's almost harder than Cincinnati in some ways. Cincinnati was extremely intense and horrible, but we had a goal to shoot for - a surgery date that was reachable.

The hard part now is we don't know how long we have to grind this out for. There's no easy goal to shoot for where everything is going to be perfect, because life isn't perfect. We're grinding against statistics and our own will right now. The netal intensive care unit (NICU) nurse spoke to us last night about the statistics. They showed they have the best statistics in the states. While we've come a long way in the last few days and week, there isn't a single date where we can focus on and know everything's going to be great. The bad statistics decline quickly each day and each week, but they don't go away for a very long time - and some don't go away because kids and people have problems.

We were both completely exhausted and overtired yesterday. Five days of straight constant anxiety is taking it's toll and we haven't been able to overcome the exhaustion with enough rest in the hospital. It's really hard to take a nap with all of the noises in the hospital, the beeps, the interruptions of nurses. Hopefully we can find a way to turn the corner on the energy level. Adrenaline can only take you so far.

Yesterday was the first day of this newest episode where anger, frustration and jealously came through. I can get out of the hospital and move around - but Melissa doesn't have any good avenues to vent. She needs a good work out with a punching bag, to be able to scream at the top of her lungs, to run or walk as far as her legs will take here. You really want it to be over, but you know that's for selfish reasons and we need to stay strong for Bea. I can leave temporarily and it allows me to focus on large time increments like days, 1/2 weeks and weeks. To me this is hump day. Melissa is on the front line and struggles through 4 hour periods. Her hump period is probably in the afternoon right now. Hopefully the days go by faster for her soon.

She told me she's going to be transferred into an apartment style room today. I really hope it's more comfortable and will allow her to relax and sleep easier.

I'm printing the blog responses on a daily basis for her and her yahoo emails as often as I can. She really enjoys hearing from people.

Tuesday February 13th

I need to clarify that Melissa's water rupture was not a full rupture like happens before a full term delivery. Rather it was a leak that reduced the fluid level from a very high level to an average level. A doctor confirmed today that the leak was likely a complication from the surgery in Cincinnati. The hope is that the fluid level stays stable and doesn't take a big jump down.

Overall we had a real good ultrasound visit. Bea looks great and everything else in Melissa looks stable too. Melissa remarked at the visit went way too well and there's no way next week's visit could go as well. She really enjoys crossing another day off the calendar at 8 am. Those are the little goals we have right now, one day at a time, literally with many worries and anxious moments throughout the day.

Melissa's having a real hard time understanding the difference between contractions and other pains/cramps. Very frequently she thinks she's having contractions when she's not, and she's having contractions but doesn't feel them. Every time she feels something they hook her up to the contraction machine and we wait in suspense for the results - mostly to find they're nothing (because she feels something else).

I was gone from the hospital most of the day and it appears Melissa is feeling a little crampy and clammy and they're watching her temperature closelyto make sure she's not developing a fever or infection. Let's hope it's just something else. One possible cause is the room we were in. We were transferred to a real drafty room yesterday that varies between freezing and hot. That may be causing problems. The nice apartment style rooms haven't had any openings yet.

Melissa's Mom has been spending most of the day with her and me with her at night. I'm off to the hospital soon.

Matt

NEWS FLASH - I just talked to Melissa. Her Mom (Liz) and the Nurse threw a blanket over the hospital room's vent and Melissa is feeling fine again. Big Sigh. One little crisis averted. It's about the little battles now.

Monday February 12th

Melissa was transferred into another room this morning. They originally put her into a birthing wing because the high-risk prenatal wing was full. She was actually transferred into the high-risk prenatal wing this morning because so many normal pregnant mothers came in.

She and Bea are in stable condition. They've turned off all of the IV drips. The anti-contraction medicine was turned off because continued exposure to it is apparently not healthy to Bea. Melissa is switching from the IV anitbiotics to oral antibiotics. They're also discontinuing her saline solution because she appears to be well hydrated.

Because everybody is in stable condition, as soon as a room in the floor below opens up, they will be transfering there. That floor is more like apartment style rooms with kitchenettes and even double-size beds for Dad!

We watched a video on caesarian births this morning as that is likely the delivery method they'll choose. The video wasn't real valuable to us because we're so different then everybody else in every single way, from baby gestation, weight, risk. We were laughing yesterday that we have no clue what a normal pregnancy is like.

Every single day, every single hour is enormous for Bea's development, survivablility and quality of life at this point. The doctor this morning said the Children's hospital here as taken care of more premature babies then any other hospital in their world and their statistics are as good as anybodys.

One of the tough things for Melissa is that we don't know if she'll see much of Bea, if at all, after delivery as they will wisk her away at "nearly a run" according to a nurse to a separate building where the NICU is located. It's a pretty long walk actually. I'll go with Bea and that team of doctors while another team will tend to Melissa.

Matt

Sunday am, Feb 11th

Melissa is nearing the 24 hour mark in the hospital. That's when a significant portion of patients deliver. It she makes it through this day and into tomorrow Bea should have fully digested the steroids to help her lungs.

The doctor this morning indicated the vast majority of people in Melissa's position deliver within two weeks. We wait until on of the three symptoms discussed in yesterday's blog arrives.

We're watching videos here preparing for how to cope with an extremely premature baby. The netal intensive care unit video was tough, knowing she's going to be wisked away immediately and placed in a sterile environment and hooked up to every machine known to man. We will be able to be give her skin to skin contact in her incubator if that's what they're called at some point. The toughest part of the video is she's going to be smaller then the babies in the video.

We looked at a book of babies delivered at Abbott around our gestation period to help us get prepared for what she'll look like and what will happen.

More to follow.

Water Rupture - Melissa's in the Hospital

We can't seem to catch a break. Melissa has been having very small leakage the past week but the doctor on Wednesday wasn't worried about it. She had a much large leakage this morning. We debated whether to go in and decided to call it in. It wasn't a real large leakage and they had a hard time initially verifying her water broke, but it did.

Thankfully Bea had abnormally high fluid and with the fluid loss she's still in the normal category. She checked out just fine today and wasn't in distress. They were able to get Melissa's contractions in control with medicine and immediately gave Melissa a steroid shot to quickly help Bea develop her lungs for delivery. Melissa will get another steroid shot tomorrow and they will continue with the contraction control medicine until the steroid medicine is fully digested on Monday. They'll pull her off the contraction medicine at that time because the medicine helps mask fever/infection signs.

Approximately 1/3 of people in Melissa's situations deliver in the first 72 hours. The first 72 hours are really critical for the steroid medicine to work in case we need to deliver and to get everthing back in control.

For the other 2/3 of people they won't deliver until one of three things occur. 1) Melissa shows signs of infection/fever (due to the ruptured sac, etc.), 2) Bea exhibits stress such as if the fluid becomes too low or she is getting stressed from her new environment 3) Melissa progresses into labor.

Melissa will be at Abbott in Minneapolis until Bea arrives. Right now it appears she will not have internet access so she can't communicate via the blog/email until we work something out like me printing emails and communicating for her. For right now we'll just be communicating via the blog.

Matt

Sunshine & Rice Krispies

Greetings from the living room, where Bullet, Bea, and I spend each day from dawn-til-dusk. (When I say “dawn,” I really mean 9:00 a.m. when I roll out of bed, but you get the drift.)

The living room has transformed from the most little used space in the house into a cozy cocoon. It faces south, so the sunlight bellows in all day. Pale yellow walls and chocolate-colored velvet curtains (newly hemmed, you may remember) make the place feel warm, no matter how cold it is outside. In addition, in lieu of art, we have black and white pictures of family members and ancestors on the walls – so I only need to look up to see friendly faces. Everything in the room, it seems, is conspiring to be cheerful.

There’s no TV in here – which is fine with me. I’ve never been a big fan of TV, but these days I stay away from it even more. I’m now sensitive to any storyline where bad things happen to babies or animals – and, you’d be surprised how often it comes up. To tell the truth, I’m getting a little ridiculous. I recently had to turn off “Star Wars: Episode III” when it got to the part where Queen Amidala was in danger of losing the Jedi twins…

Anyway, even commercials can trigger me into tears. The worst of the worst is a seemingly innocuous commercial for Rice Krispies. It’s a mom and little girl having fun eating breakfast, which is very nice. The background music, however, is the Hawaiian-inspired version of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. In Cincinnati, Matt and I decided that song was Elsa’s song, and it is what I had on the headphones when I went into surgery. As if the music and the toddler/mommy imagery weren't bad enough, the commercial ends with the tagline: “Childhood Is Calling.” So, I can be watching “Friends” when that commercial comes on and bam - I’m sobbing. (For a good cry, you can watch the ad yourself: http://www.ricekrispies.com/memorylanevid.aspx?vid=2b )

I know that life will be full of reminders of Elsa, and I’m getting better with them all the time. In fact, I’m actually starting to find the Rice Krispies commercial oddly soothing (as I sob through it and 10 minutes after). But, for right now, I think spending my days in my safe, cheerful, yellow living room might be the best thing for me. Although it's a little frustrating at times, I’m getting a lot of rest and building up the energy to cope with the “outside” when I’m allowed. I’ve got Bullet, my Ipod, and my laptop to keep me busy. I'm reading books, too. (No books where bad things happen to babies or animals, mind you.)

Well, now it’s dusk. Bullet, who spends the day moving from sunny spot to sunny spot, is in his dusk position: at the window watching for Matt to come home. And, I am about ready to make my nightly pilgrimage to the family room.

Maybe I’ll ask Matt to bring me home some Rice Krispies. All of this writing has made me hungry for them.

Melissa

24 Down

Well today has been a pretty good day. The Gophers new football coach signed a real good recruiting class. I've been telling Melissa and the rest of the Badger fans they have about two years before the Gopher nation locks The Axe in Minneapolis for a very long time. I'm already day dreaming about the first game in the new stadium in 2009.

Well (most of) you didn't sign on to read accolades about the Gophers, so I'll tell you that we had the best doctor appointment yet in the new era today. They did a real thorough evaluation of Bea's head, organs, heart, skeletal structure and so many other things and she passed with flying colors. Best yet her weight has climbed from 13 ounces three weeks ago to 23 ounces! Very few parents will be as happy as Melissa and I about their baby turning into a little butterball. Melissa had a relatively rough day yesterday with worries about today's appointment but she's in a totally different mood now. After the doctor visit today we're high fiving.

We keep on getting different gestation periods from the doctors, but it appears we're at 24 weeks today. Bea's development is tracking along just fine at 23 weeks and 5 days (just 2 days behind and well within the margin of error for the analysis). Critical dates that Melissa and I have on our calendars are 28 weeks on March 7, 30 weeks on March 28, and 32 weeks on April 4th. I'll be real happy at 28 weeks, popping the champagne at 30 weeks (non-alcoholic stuff for Melissa and Bea - no apples though) and I'll be pulling a 1/2 barrel of beer around the neighborhood at 32 weeks. Bullet might even get a taste. Everything beyond 32 weeks is icing on the cake.

We've been real hesitant about getting too excited about stuff. We've been putting off shopping for things as we didn't want to be disappointed if something goes wrong and wanted to keep our emotions in check for a while. I recently bought three children's books to start reading to Bea at night. Last night we transitioned to Sherlock Holmes.

We're very fortunate for many things. Having just one baby will allow us to do a lot more as a family. We're also very lucky that Melissa and I will be able to resume productive, healthy and active lives and have the ability to provide good opportunities for Bea. I'm also very blessed to work in a position and company where I can drive home and take Melissa to a weekly doctor appointment. That wonderful Blackberry (I say this a little sarcastically) allows me to stay in tune throughout the day and I can catch up on work at night after making dinner and taking Bullet for his chilly walk. Not to many people have jobs as flexible as I do.

We're fortunate that with good planning we chose professions and companies that support families, we paid a little more for a smaller house to be closer to our offices so we maximized family time, and we put away enough rain day money that Melissa is able to stop working for seven months without a big burden. Not having to worry about more things has a tremendous impact on Melissa and thus Bea's development. In other circumstances we could easily have faltered but we're hanging very tough as a team (with constant support from a friendly canine) and it appears we'll be exiting this troubling time much stronger.

Matt

M & M's Not-So-Glamorous Shot

After seeing Bea's lovely pics below, this one is kind of anti-climactic. But, since many people have requested it, here is picture of us, including my big ol' belly. Matt and I often joke that we are the least photogenic couple around. Even our wedding pictures are a little goofy - so this one is no exception. At least we both have our eyes open. Here's hoping Bea is more photogenic then us.

Things are going well so far this week. I think I'm pretty much over the cold I had last week and Bea is doing some good kicks today, so we're feeling upbeat. In addition, tonight, I actually get to leave the house for baby class at the hospital! Then, Wednesday is another doctor appointment. Leaving the house twice in a week - very exciting!!

We'll let you know how the doctor appointment goes.
Melissa

Blessings

Happy Friday! Bea is now 24 weeks. At the doctor's office on Tuesday we were reading a page on the NICU calendar about a girl named Samantha who was born at 24 weeks. She only weighed one pound when she was born and had a rough first few years, but now she is a relatively normal kindergartener. Obviously, we want Bea to stay cookin' for a good 10 more weeks, but it's nice to know that every day is progress. (32 weeks is when the NICU can reliably help babies survive and live normal lives; normal babies are born at 39/40 weeks.)

As we've said, before the surgery a few weeks ago, we had a blessing ceremony for the girls. The hospital chaplin brought us two passages and I thought you might enjoy reading them.

************************
The first passage is very dear to me. When the Chaplin asked me if I would like anything special to be said, I asked her if she had anything by Michael Leunig. Although my beliefs don't seem to align with any specific religion, when we received a book of Leunig's as a wedding present, I immediately identified with his simple prayers. When the Chaplin came back, she said she was sorry but she could only find one of Luenig's prayers on an old photocopy. It happened to be the very prayer I had in mind. Here it is:

Dear God,
We struggle, we grow weary, we grow tired. We are exhausted, we are distressed, we despair. We give up, we fall down, we let go. We cry. We are empty, we grow calm, we are ready, We wait quietly.

A small, shy truth arrives. Arrives from without and within. Arrives and is born. Simple, steady, clear. Like a mirror, like a bell, like a flame. Like rain in summer. A precious truth arrives and is born within us. Within our emptiness.

We accept it, we observe it, we absorb it. We surrender to our bare truth. We are nourished, we are changed. We are blessed. We rise up. For this we give thanks.
Amen.

************************
The other passage was from Kahil Gibran's "The Prophet." I know it is a fairly famous book and many of you have probably read this passage before, but I think it is really insightful in the context of our situation:

Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

******************************

Have a nice weekend!
Love, Melissa & Bea (& Matt, too)