We're in the process of trying to get a perinatal doctor appt. this week. The perinatal doctor won't give us an appt. without a referral, even though they were the last ones to see us. The OB GYN left us a message last night saying they won't see us again - we need to see the perinatologist. So we're in the process of trying to get a referral. Tomorrow morning we'll be giving up the Mr. Nice attitude and will be getting an appt. somehow.
I'd like to share a magical and spiritual moment I had last week. I've never thought of myself as one of those people who has big spiritual moments and is repeatedly touched by god. I think many people use God's name wrongly to fulfill personal and not very godly ambitions, such as athletes trying to win one more game along with some politicians and so many other people these days. However I think I had a truely spiritual moment and would like to share it. I've received good feedback from the story so far.
On the day before the procedure Melissa and I wrote our eulogy to Elsa and had many conversations with her and Bea. In Melissa's eulogy and conversations she gave the heavens to Elsa and said she would look up to the stars to see her and in the hope of seeing the occasional twinkle "hello" back from Elsa.
That night we had a marvelous time as Melissa and I attempted not to cry continually to upset Elsa. The four of us listened to comforting music, conversed quite a bit, sang songs and walked outside to look for the stars as a family. Well it was very cloudly that night and we couldn't see any stars but we had fun and felt comforted anyways.
The morning of the procedure they told me that after they took Melissa to the operating room they would call me about 45 minutes later to tell me the procedure started. They would call me again 45-60 minutes later to tell me the procedure was over. Well I got the first call after 45 minutes to say the procedure started. Forty-five minutes later a nurse came out to tell me they were having problems finding a good angle/entry for the procedure and they needed to get some more equipment from another hospital wing.
This all seemed so very odd, not to mention disturbing. How do they not have the right equipment? How could they be 90 minutes into a 45 minute procedure and not be able to start? What was going on? What was wrong?
I was sitting in a very large waiting room with floor to ceiling windows. It was very cloudy outside and there was light snow flurries all morning. About five minutes after the nurse told me they had been in the operating room for 90 minutes and couldn't start, a little patch of blue sky opened up right in front of the sun. There was no patch of sky anywhere else. I was facing the sun and it was blinding. It lit up the entire waiting room and bathed me in light. It felt so incredibly warm. Within seconds I understood what was happening.
Elsa was having trouble finding the way to heaven. God parted the clouds to show her the way. I instantly told Elsa to go to the light, that's the way to heaven. And to hurry before the dark clouds came back. I said goodbye to her, told her how much I loved her and how proud Melissa and I were of her. I told her she had fought enough and now it was time for her to live and breathe easier. I asked my recently departed Grandma Anita to reach down from heaven with those long arms of her and help Elsa get to heaven and take care of her. As discussed with Melissa the day before, I also asked Melissa's aunt Nancy to look after Elsa too.
The sun was out for about five minutes before the clouds came back for the remainder of the day. Just after the sun disappeared a different nurse came back to tell me the procedure had started. I told her I already knew that, then explained why with my story.
Matt
I'd like to share a magical and spiritual moment I had last week. I've never thought of myself as one of those people who has big spiritual moments and is repeatedly touched by god. I think many people use God's name wrongly to fulfill personal and not very godly ambitions, such as athletes trying to win one more game along with some politicians and so many other people these days. However I think I had a truely spiritual moment and would like to share it. I've received good feedback from the story so far.
On the day before the procedure Melissa and I wrote our eulogy to Elsa and had many conversations with her and Bea. In Melissa's eulogy and conversations she gave the heavens to Elsa and said she would look up to the stars to see her and in the hope of seeing the occasional twinkle "hello" back from Elsa.
That night we had a marvelous time as Melissa and I attempted not to cry continually to upset Elsa. The four of us listened to comforting music, conversed quite a bit, sang songs and walked outside to look for the stars as a family. Well it was very cloudly that night and we couldn't see any stars but we had fun and felt comforted anyways.
The morning of the procedure they told me that after they took Melissa to the operating room they would call me about 45 minutes later to tell me the procedure started. They would call me again 45-60 minutes later to tell me the procedure was over. Well I got the first call after 45 minutes to say the procedure started. Forty-five minutes later a nurse came out to tell me they were having problems finding a good angle/entry for the procedure and they needed to get some more equipment from another hospital wing.
This all seemed so very odd, not to mention disturbing. How do they not have the right equipment? How could they be 90 minutes into a 45 minute procedure and not be able to start? What was going on? What was wrong?
I was sitting in a very large waiting room with floor to ceiling windows. It was very cloudy outside and there was light snow flurries all morning. About five minutes after the nurse told me they had been in the operating room for 90 minutes and couldn't start, a little patch of blue sky opened up right in front of the sun. There was no patch of sky anywhere else. I was facing the sun and it was blinding. It lit up the entire waiting room and bathed me in light. It felt so incredibly warm. Within seconds I understood what was happening.
Elsa was having trouble finding the way to heaven. God parted the clouds to show her the way. I instantly told Elsa to go to the light, that's the way to heaven. And to hurry before the dark clouds came back. I said goodbye to her, told her how much I loved her and how proud Melissa and I were of her. I told her she had fought enough and now it was time for her to live and breathe easier. I asked my recently departed Grandma Anita to reach down from heaven with those long arms of her and help Elsa get to heaven and take care of her. As discussed with Melissa the day before, I also asked Melissa's aunt Nancy to look after Elsa too.
The sun was out for about five minutes before the clouds came back for the remainder of the day. Just after the sun disappeared a different nurse came back to tell me the procedure had started. I told her I already knew that, then explained why with my story.
Matt
3 comments:
I didn't plan on crying at work today :-)
What a wonderful story. I have had a few experiences after my dad died, which I needn't share here, but I totally think you are lucky if you can recognize signs.
I am glad you are all home safe and sound, and have appreciated following
your story.
Sue and I would love to stop by to see you when things settle down. I imagine the bed rest is going to be a rather big lesson in patience during the long days when Matt is off to work. Sue's good friend in England went though a very similar ordeal with her twins last year. Glad to say that their baby is very happy and healthy, and I am certain Bea will be too.
Take care,
Patty
I second Patty's note. I've got to stop reading this at work -- crying is not easy at your cube!
Seriously, though, thanks for sharing your story Matt. It was quite beautiful. And heartening.
Bea is a lucky girl to have you as parents.
--Jennifer
you may have just made a believer out of me, matt. thank you guys for keeping us updated.
love,
gravy
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