Slow Progress

It appears that like everything for this pregnancy, this delivery is going to take a little extra time and effort. Progress is being made but it's slow. Things could kick in high-gear tonight or tomorrow, but nothing is going to happen right away. We're reluctantly bracing for a long night. The bed Melissa is in now if for labor and delivery and is much harder than the bed she was in on the antepartum floor. So her hips are extremely uncomfortable but like everything else Melissa is handling it like a trooper. She just received a massage and I was given a few techniques to give to Melissa to help her feel more comfortable.

One of the weird things for us is that all of the little "bad" indicators in the antepartum unit are now "good" indicators. We're suddenly encouraging contractions among so many other things now. We're actually rooting for bigger, longer and more intense contractions because that means we're that much closer to the finish line.

While we're very excited to great Bea in the outer world and start our life together, we made further preparations for handling the delivery of Elsa. We're coordinating her cremation and my personal feelings for Elsa were the strongest yesterday that they've been since Cincinnati. Melissa said it's somewhat similar to what we went through in Cincinnati where we preparing to celebrate a lot of happiness with a bright future with Bea while feeling sorrow for Elsa. I feel a little bitter about that because it would be really nice for Melissa and I to embrace 100% happiness and I feel bad for Bea that we're going to have a little bit of sorrow mixed in with her greetings when she arrives. I feel the need to respect Elsa and her great contribution and can't ignore her entirely either. It's an awkward little balancing act. Today there's overall more excitement and happiness for me. The anxiety is a little less, and I think it is for Melissa too. We're currently looking forward to more intense labor and our little daughter, however I suspect some not so happy moments surfacing for Melissa and I'm readying myself for whatever temporary emotions may emerge from her. Being a guy can be pretty cool sometimes. However the massage therapist was sharing with Melissa how her delivery was the most special day of her life and how she felt so many amazing emotions and feelings throughout labor, so there's a little (and I mean little right now) sense of regret I can't experience that and join that club.